Health and Holiness

April 17th, 2013

My last post was kind of… icky. Well the pictures sandwiched in the middle were cute, but the beginning and ending was icky. I felt I needed to get it all said though, and hopefully it would force me to think through things and gain a better perspective. I have been praying a lot lately about feeling so stuck in my day to day life. Here are the thoughts I have gleaned so far.

I guess it all boils down to focus. I am discovering how wrong mine has been. I have become completely embroiled in the nitty gritty problems of every day life and have begun drowning in the attempt to fix them. It all seems too much. I cannot face it. But really, I’m not supposed to.

Since being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, being encouraged to go gluten free, and dealing with all the normal ickies of pregnancy, I have felt pretty well drowned in health struggles. My doctor thinks it is best to put any active combating of the Hashi’s on hold til after the baby comes, but I don’t feel that my thyroid dosage is quite what it should be right now. I am tired all. the. time. Ridiculously so. At this stage in my pregnancy I should be having MORE energy, not less, than I did in the first trimester. It seems that as soon as the morning sickness went away I was suddenly so exhausted that I could hardly function. The foggy mind is almost worse. I hate not being able to think. And the gluten thing, ug! I have become so incredibly frustrated trying to figure that out. I don’t even know if it is worth it, or to what degree I need to be off it, or if what I have done is even helping. I have been given so much conflicting information. It seems the only way to be sure would be to go totally, strictly gluten free – aware of any little shred that I might be ingesting and probably even replacing my pots and pans.  This means a total life change. I don’t know how it even works with eating or eating at other people’s houses. I admit I have cried a bit at the thought of having a baby and people not being able to bring me food because of my diet restrictions. I honestly don’t want to face it all and am not being nearly as careful as I should be at the moment. I get so frustrated trying TO avoid gluten, and so guilty if I don’t.

And there are other things, so many other little things that have been blown out of perspective and have overwhelmed me. It probably doesn’t help that I have a cranky, teething kiddo on my hands right now who cries any time he isn’t being held.

I beg God to give me answers with these things, but I have realized this week my focus is completely wrong. My goal as a believer is to draw near to God and pursue holiness. That’s it. That, and that alone, must remain my focus. Everything else is simply a means to that end. It is amazing how much less overwhelming being diagnosed with a disease seems when I think of it simply as a way of drawing even closer to God, or of becoming more set apart for Him. It takes the focus off the “problem” and turns it into a stepping stone. I can handle stepping stones. I am much less overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of such a big diet change when I can simply ask God what would best allow me to draw nearer to him. And instead of eating what I think will comfort me when I am overwhelmed, simply choosing to eat what ever will best equip my body to perform the tasks necessary for pursuing and following after God that day. Simply put, the focus moves from me to Him.

So I am trying to face the tiredness, the fussing, and the decisions with this focus in mind, and purposing ahead of time to ask myself “What will best enable me to draw near?” even when my mind is foggy.

 

One Response to “Health and Holiness”

  1. Kristi Brown says:

    Hey Christy,
    I don’t expect you to remember me at all, but we worked together at a Children’s Institute YEARS ago =) Now we both have kiddos of our own – I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and am due in July with our second. I’m so sorry for the hard health issues you’re going through. I can’t imagine how that mixes – or doesn’t mix! – with pregnancy. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve had to learn how to cook gluten-free over the last few years because two of my sister-in-laws have Celiac. Of course, that means that we need GF food at family dinners =) So a couple things – First, it seems to me that a lot of the resources and cookbooks out there are pretty overwhelming. And they try to convince you that you need to cook all this different sounding fancy food. I’m putting together some pretty easy and basic GF recipes on a food blog I keep here: http://nummiesplease.wordpress.com/. I have a goal to get some recipes up that freeze easy and would be good to make before babies come – something I need to do myself! Second, if you are looking for any type of resources or info in particular, I’m happy to ask my mother-in-law for recommendations. She’s an expert in GF cooking and info, and she’s all about making it as simple and easy as possible. No worries if you’re not interested in any of this, but if there’s any way we can help, let me know! Blessings on you and your precious family! Kristi Brown

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